


Golden Days

by bang-the-smoke (708_things)



Series: Bandom Oneshots [1]
Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Cross-Posted on Wattpad, Imaginary Friends, M/M, Mental Health Issues, angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-29
Updated: 2019-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:47:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21599452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/708_things/pseuds/bang-the-smoke
Summary: Brendon Urie has an imaginary friend.
Relationships: Ryan Ross/Brendon Urie
Series: Bandom Oneshots [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1556635
Kudos: 13





	Golden Days

**Author's Note:**

> first oneshot i ever posted on my wattpad, bang-the-smoke. for these oneshots, i have accurate dates, so i'll add when they were originally written: july 2017

Brendon was lonely.

Sure, he had his family. He had people to talk to. But he wanted a best friend. He wanted someone to have fun with, to share secrets with.

But he had a hard time making friends. People he'd meet didn't interest him, and they thought he was weird. It's not his fault he was dorky and bad at socializing. Luckily, what they thought didn't effect him much. He'd rather spend his time alone than with people who didn't care about him.

One day, he met a guy named Ryan. He hadn't seen him around town before, so he thought it was a bit weird. He dismissed it with just deciding that he probably just moved here. Ryan seemed like the perfect candidate to be his best friend.

Ryan had a way with words, and it was something that really interested Brendon. All the words Ryan spoke were chosen carefully, in contrast to Brendon's habit to blurt out whatever came to mind.

Besides that, Ryan tended to be kind of quiet. Quieter than Brendon ever was, that's for sure. Something about Ryan brought out his loud side. Ryan made him laugh like a hyena, and he told stories with excitement now. It didn't matter if it made people stare at him weirdly. He was happy with it, so it didn't matter if other people thought he was weird.

Ryan went mostly everywhere he went. It didn't really concern him until he realized Ryan didn't mention anything about family. Or about going home. Surely he had a family, right?

\------

"Hey Ry, I've been wondering.. Where's your family?"

Ryan stared at the ceiling above them, and Brendon worried that maybe that was something he shouldn't have asked. It was probably something that he didn't want to talk about.

"I don't know." Ryan answered. Brendon was a little confused. What did that even mean?

"Oh," Brendon said. "I'm sorry for bringing it up."

"You were going to ask eventually," Ryan shrugged.

The conversation turned out to only make him more confused. How could Ryan not know where his family is?

Brendon figured he should let it go. This was just probably his nosiness getting in the way again.

"C'mon Brendon, it's dinner time!" His mother called from downstairs.

Brendon jumped up from the bed. "Let's go, Ry."

Ryan frowned. "I'm not that hungry."

"Oh, okay!" Brendon replied. "I'll bring something up for you, just in case." Ryan smiled and nodded.

Brendon went downstairs for dinner, and forgot about his thoughts on Ryan's weird answer about his family.

\------

It was a Friday night when things started to become interesting. The two boys were laying on Brendon's bed, listening to one of Brendon's records together. It was quiet, until it was disturbed.

"I heard your mother talking on the phone when you were gone," Ryan said, out of the blue.

"What was it about?" Brendon asked, turning his head to look at him curiously.

Ryan was silent for a moment. "Something about pills," he muttered.

Brendon's face went blank. This wasn't the first time he'd heard about the subject of pills. His mother had took him to a therapist and apparently he needed pills. But he didn't know what for. They never told him. Or maybe they did, he doesn't remember.

"So I have to start taking them soon?" Brendon asked.

"I suppose." Ryan sounded sad. "They might taste nasty."

Brendon laughed. "That's all you're worrying about?"

"No," Ryan said seriously. "But I'd rather try to make jokes then focus on what is worrying."

If Brendon was telling the truth, he wasn't exactly sure what in particular was worrying. It seemed like everybody else already knew what it was for, even Ryan. Or, maybe Ryan is just concerned about the fact he has to take pills at all. Yeah, probably that.

"Oh," Brendon replied. "I guess I'll just be careful then."

Ryan didn't respond.

Apparently it took a few days of taking the pills for them to work. In the meantime, Brendon and Ryan were getting closer. They talked about more personal things, and Brendon felt like this was the happiest he's ever been.

Then again, the fact that he might have feelings for Ryan might contribute to that. Butterflies swarmed in his stomach from even so much as looking at Ryan, but rather than being upset at his newfound infatuation, Brendon felt excited about it. He's never felt like this before.

Ryan however, seemed to be very antsy. Nervous, too. Brendon suspected it had something to do with the pills. Once again, he felt like Ryan knew something he didn't.

With these new feelings, Brendon didn't feel the need to hide them. As far as he was concerned, nothing could go wrong with telling Ryan. Nothing should change, even if Ryan didn't feel the same way.

So, Brendon made Ryan sit down on the bed as he began to explain himself. After he was done talking, he looked at Ryan to see how he felt. Ryan's face didn't show how he felt, and he didn't say anything yet either. Something told him to go for it, so Brendon leaned in and kissed him.

He didn't know what to expect, considering this was his first kiss, but all the butterflies in his stomach started to go in a frenzy, and it was amazing. And Ryan kissed him back. He kissed him back, and that's all that mattered.

Everything was perfect. Well, until Ryan pushed him back, and their lips disconnected. "Brendon," Ryan whispered, with a look of sadness on his face. "We can't." And with that, Brendon's butterflies shriveled up and his stomach plummeted.

"What do you mean?" Brendon breathed out, so many emotions running through his head. The sadness, the confusion, the shock.

Ryan shook his head. "You know it. Deep down, you know why." To Brendon's astonishment, tears were coming out of Ryan's eyes. Brendon had never seen him cry before.

Brendon shook his head weakly. He didn't want to admit it. He wanted his perfect ending, not whatever this was.

Ryan had a look of pain on his face. "Please don't make me say it, Brendon. _Please_."

Brendon didn't speak.

"The pills. You know what they're for," Ryan said imploringly, hoping for Brendon to say it.

But he didn't, so Ryan had to. There was no reason to drag out their suffering.

"I'm not real," Ryan declared, his voice shaky. He let out a sob immediately after. Meanwhile, Brendon was practically frozen.

Deep down, he had known this. It's why he's always been wondering where his family was and why he's always there. But it didn't feel right. Ryan looked so real. Ryan just had to be real. His tears looked real, his lips had felt real. He had to be real.

"No," Brendon said. "You're lying."

"Don't make this more difficult for me, please," Ryan whispered weakly. "You know it in your heart to be true."

Brendon couldn't respond. He knew he would break down.

"You were alone, so you created me. We became great friends," Ryan said, a smile appearing on his face as he thought of their good memories. "But I was never real. It's why people looked at you funny. When you talked to me, you were talking to thin air. And I'm why you're taking those pills now."

"I don't want to forget you, and I don't want you to leave," Brendon muttered, finally accepting it. He could feel tears leaking out of his eyes.

"But we all do," Ryan said wisely. "Even if I was real, one day you'd forget me. It wouldn't matter. And one day I'd leave."

"It would matter," Brendon interjected. "I love you. In our rather short time together, I've fallen in love with you, and I don't want to forget that."

Ryan looked at him sadly, and he wiped tears off of Brendon's face with his thumb. "I love you too, Brendon. But this isn't healthy for you. It's why you have to forget me."

"It's hard for me to think of a world without you there by my side," Brendon admitted, with a sniffle. All this time, it's been the two of them against the world, and soon he would be alone again.

"I know," Ryan nodded. "It's why I have something for you." He handed him a black bracelet. There was an engraving on it. Written on it was the phrase **_Golden Days_**_. _Brendon looked at it with confusion, and looked up at Ryan.

"While you may not remember our golden days after tomorrow, I still want you to have something to remember me by."

The gesture was bittersweet, considering that Brendon wouldn't even remember what it stood for. Brendon put it on, and looked at it before looking up at Ryan.

"I don't like saying goodbyes."

"I know. But it's better if you do it, just this time."

Brendon choked back another sob. "Although I guess I won't remember it, I'll always miss you, Ryan."

Ryan nodded. "I'll miss you too." He looked at Brendon's alarm clock. He took a shaky breath. "You should get to bed, it's really late."

"More like really early," Brendon retorted, with a quiet laugh. He listened to what he said though. He laid under the covers. "Sleep with me?" He asked quietly.

"Of course."

Brendon fell asleep, holding Ryan's hand.

When he woke up in the morning, there was no longer a weight holding his hand or a presence next to him.

\------

His therapist scribbled down some notes on his clipboard. "Ever heard of the name Ryan Ross?" He asked carefully, his eyes narrowed.

Brendon thought for a minute. He frowned. "Can't say I have, sir."

The man wrote down more notes. "Okay, good. I noticed that bracelet you're wearing. Where'd you get it?"

"Oh," Brendon said, looking at his bracelet. "I'm not sure where I got it, but I really like it. It makes me feel happy and safe."

His therapist smiled. "Then you should keep it on always."

"Yeah," Brendon replied. "I should."

While he may not know what the engraving on it meant, or where he even got it from, it made him feel happy. He reckoned there was probably a story there, but that was the mystery of it.

The session ended shortly afterwards.

On his clipboard, Brendon's therapist had determined the treatment to be a success. Brendon no longer had an imaginary friend.

Their golden days were long forgotten.


End file.
